Embrace Your Uniqueness

I’m a bit odd. I have male anatomy, yet I have long, fine blonde hair, long manicured acrylic nails and eyebrows that are the envy of many women (I know, because they’ve told me so many times). Sometimes I wear makeup. Sometimes I wear heels. From the outside looking in, I’m sure that many people would see that and assume that I am transgender, that I support abortion, or that I only vote for left-wing candidates.

I am a diplomatic person and I very much avoid discussions regarding politics or controversy with others. I would, however, like to point a few things out while I have them highlighted. Human psychology mirrors that of the universe in quite a basic form (for now). The universe operates based on signs and symbols. The human brain does as well.

Though most people are strangers and do not know me, they may see my beard and lack of breasts and immediately think “male.” Then they notice my makeup or heels and infer “transgender,” “queer,” or “abomination that must be eradicated in the name of God.” None of these things are true. Did you know that heels were made for and worn by archers who rode on horseback who found that type of shoe useful for the stirrups on their saddles? Did you know that men of the aristocracy throughout Europe found them fashionable and wore them on a daily basis?

Did you know that makeup has been worn by men of position throughout the world and history? Yes, wigs too. Therefore, it is silly to assume that simply because a person of a perceived anatomical gender wears clothing, shoes, or accessories that are not typically worn by people of the same anatomical gender, then they are transgender. (I will likely write another post about transgender issues as I believe that people often categorize me that way and because of this, I am affiliated. Transgender people need representation too, and though I am not transgender, I am not heteronormative either and I feel that my fellow LGBT beings need some love. This would not totally fit into this post or its message, so bear with me.). Sometimes that may be the case, but be careful not to stereotype people. Take care not to misinterpret the signs and symbols in the universe, as that takes away a person’s ability to be an individual.

Though I do not identify as a transgender person, I am not really a textbook example of the archetypal “man” either. I have male anatomy, but I have well integrated and balanced divine feminine and divine masculine energies. I am often more in tune with my divine feminine energies and they manifest in many areas of my life, particularly in my appearance and in how I deal with conflict.

Angels are the perfect balance of divine masculine and divine feminine energies. Angels exist in right angles and they expertly navigate assertion and receptivity. I realize that those who are reading this are likely more so spiritual people and understand much of this already, but we all know people who are still a bit ignorant, whether by choice or by lack of exposure. I hope that this is helpful and offers insight and healing.

As someone who grew up in a rural area and attended a small, conservative religious college, I have heard many viewpoints along the lines of “gay people are so contradictory. They say that all they want is to be treated like anyone else, but then they are constantly throwing their ‘lifestyle’ in others’ faces with their pride parades and facebook posts.” It was this type of thinking and discourse that kept me silent for many years, even after I was no longer denying my homosexuality.

I was bullied relentlessly throughout my childhood, starting when I was five years old. As a five year old, I did not know what gay meant, yet I was accused of it and of all kinds of gay acts. I have been called a fag more times than I can count all throughout my childhood and school years. I was treated like this by other students, parents, members of the community, and even my teachers.

My fourth grade teacher said to my mother, in front of me, “well, you know that Beau’s gay,” after my mother angrily drove me to school after I got home on the bus and told her about all of the things that my teacher said to me as she was throwing out my personal items in my locker. My mother dated the village idiot for a while who frequently joined his children in calling me queer, fag, gay, and making up all kinds of inappropriate scenarios to try to shame and harass me into being their personal victim. Again, I don’t share any of this to gain sympathy - I’m quite healed and empowered now. But hopefully, these stories from my life will inspire you and give some of you hope for a better future. Despite my dumpster fire of a childhood, I have much hope for a more elevated, enlightened, and ascended future. We can build it together.

I have come to realize that I never would have been good enough for the people in my childhood. I never would have been “straight” enough, I never would have been “cool” enough, and I never would have been athletic, smart, tall, attractive, fun, or whatever unattainable, fleeting thought that they had at the moment for any of those people. You see, I am an individual. I am a powerful, immortal spiritual being (as are all of you) and I have experienced the full spectrum of existence offered by the universe throughout my many lifetimes. I possess gifts and insights that are unique to me.

We are not all meant to be exactly the same. We are not meant to have the same experiences, look the same, act the same, or be interested in the same things. What would we learn if we all lived exactly the same life? Some are talented artists. Some are talented medical professionals. Each individual has something unique to offer the collective that nobody else can offer through the same perspective that they can.

This has been such an empowering lesson for me. I have learned how to be good enough for myself. I have learned how to accept my flaws, love myself, heal from my past as well as from daily unpleasant interactions, and I have learned how to share all of this wisdom with others in service of God, who is all that is.

Why waste your time or dim your light trying to please others? You will never be good enough for those people. But, you are good enough for others, who are waiting to meet you - the real you. Live life as your true and authentic self and the trash will take itself out! The fact is that you are not for everyone and that’s okay. Not everyone is for you either. It is important that we see one another, though. We are all living fragments of God, bearing witness to one another (which is really the grand self) through this game of lived experiences.

If we see something that provokes us, then that is wonderful! This offers us so many opportunities to learn, grow, expand our thoughts, beliefs, worldviews, etc. If we only ever saw things that we agreed with, or that affirmed our worldviews, then how would we know what is true? Contrast is important. We cannot see the light without the dark. Sometimes people need to be provoked and see something different. This is not to “throw it in anybody’s face,” rather it is a courageous statement that I exist, I am valid, and I do not have to apologize or explain myself to anybody.

The fact that some people get so disgusted or offended enough to say something to me about it just shows that they are immature and short-sighted. It’s okay; their guides see what they need to work on and the patient will recover eventually - once they choose to. Call me crazy, but I only want to have people in my life who actually want to be there. What has surprised, humbled, and delighted me is that there are actually people who are kind and gracious to me and that the world is not the living nightmare full of demons that my childhood was.

I am so thankful that life is so wonderful for me now. Sure, it isn’t perfect, but perfect does not exist. I am an adult and the real world is full of adults who mostly leave each other alone. Though lonely, at least I am allowed to be an individual and let my light shine bright. Most people have nothing to say, or even have a compliment on my unusual appearance, style, and expression of energy. I am finally able to easily ignore those few who are immature and bold enough to say something negative as they bike past me along the parkway in Minneapolis (it is usually a person on a bike for some reason. Perhaps they think that they can get away? lol). Those who have that much negativity and poison inside of them will continue to get increasingly harsh karma and will live with what they created until they decide that they have had enough and enter a new cycle. 

These people need to have living examples of love, humility, and grace to provoke them out of their rigid and jaded ways, which is why it is so important for us to be our authentic selves. Do so with compassion for all beings everywhere. Others will come around eventually, but whether they choose to or not is really not our problem. We have our own choices to be responsible for.

If you stuck around to the end, thank you for sharing in this with me. I apologize if my writings ramble or don’t seem to be structured in a way that makes much sense, but I just write as my thoughts manifest. When I look back to edit, I hesitate for fear that some of the message will be changed, misinterpreted, or missed. Feel free to engage with me on my facebook page. I will do my best to improve as things progress.

I offer this inspired message of hope and healing to the collective for the highest good of all. May it reach those who need it the most and may all who share in it understand what I was attempting to impart with love. I send universal love to all beings everywhere.

Peace and blessings,

Beau